Military Wife-ing and the Cold Hard Truth!

I sit here annoyed and downright pissed off this morning. I've seen and heard way too much backlash from so many sources lately on the frequency of deployments and their various effects on military families, so I've decided to come to my blog and lay it all on the line for all 2 of my readers haha. Why anyone would come into this lifestyle thinking it would be easy is beyond me.

Deployments suck folks, they just do! Especially the ones where your husband is in actual danger. Sure I'm an Air Force wife and a lot of people think my husband deploys under "comfortable conditions". I love telling these people they're wrong. My husband's last deployment was 15 months attached to an Army unit. He was in combat daily. He lost fellow soldiers, he saw things that still give him nightmares. Even on his just "plain ole deployments", it's not easy for anyone.

Deployments will make or break your marriage or relationship. You either get stronger and fall deeper in love, or you get weaker and fall apart. That's it. You respect your husband for what he does everyday and the sacrifice he makes daily. He respects you for all you do. What does that entail exactly?

How about being a single mom, changing every diaper, racing to every practice/game/school function, taking them to doctors appointments, feeding them every meal, helping them with homework, bathing them, all the while doing all the cleaning, paying all the bills, and still trying to find a moment to write a letter, send a card, mail a package or if you're super duper lucky getting online to hopefully score a chat session with him or maybe even a phone call. How about soothing scared big kids because daddy's gone for so long? How about making sure the baby knows who daddy is, making sure she remembers his voice, his smell, showing her pictures of him just hoping she remembers...Then there's trying to sleep without worrying if that headline you saw on the news pertained to your husband and his unit, wondering if he's injured or dead.

Some of us work on top of that, some of us give birth alone with no family or friends around. And how about those women who get up every morning wishing their husband was still alive to get a phone call or a chat? Those women have paid the ultimate sacrifice and will continue paying it every day as they learn how to survive without their love for the rest of their lives, along with their children.

I can't forget those of us with no children. They do everything they can to keep themselves busy and not worry every second of every day. They aren't weaker than those of us without children, they just have a different set of problems to deal with.

Here's the bottom line...When you choose to marry a man who is in the military, know full well ladies, that he is already married to his country and you and your family come in second. If you can't accept that or you aren't strong enough to handle it then move along. The United States of America owns his ass and they will make him do the job that HE signed up to do. You should be proud though, be proud you have a man that loves his country that much. I know I am. My husband is an American loving, God fearing, war hero....and I put on my big girl panties every day and support him...why wouldn't I?

Note: please excuse any run-on sentences and other grammar errors. I have a baby on my lap yelling at me, no time for proofreading around here :)

2010 in a Nutshell

Kayla turned 5. Braden turned 8. I lost my amazing grandmother, my heart still aches daily and I'm not sure that will ever change. Cliff turned 30. There was supposed to be a surprise party for him, instead we were at a funeral and ended up eating cake in a hotel room while visiting his mom and stepdad. I spent most of my summer in Oklahoma. Nana Jo threw Maeli's first birthday party early becuse Cliff was supposed to go to Iraq. He ended up not having to go. Maeli turned 1, we took her 1st trip to the zoo. The kids started Kindergarten and Third grade. How did that happen? Cliff hunted a lot. He killed his first elk and a deer. I turned 30 and although the number was hard, the birthday was phenomenal. 2 days later my aunt went missing. My mom came for a visit. My mom is amazing. My faith and religion were questioned and tested. I love God more and my faith is stronger.

In an emotional aspect, I lost some friends and found out who my true friends are. There aren't as many as I thought and I'm okay with that. I realized that some bonds are unbreakable. I realized that I have cousins and aunts and friends, and just a group of freaking amazing people that will pull together and do what has to be done and take care of eachother when I can't be there. I watched my kids grow another year, it was too fast and it makes my heart ache. I became more thankful for my mom. I fell more in love with my husband and realized we are pretty amazing together and no matter what comes at us...we got this!

It's a new year, it's a new chance. This WILL be the best one yet no matter what is thrown at me. I'm 30 and I'm done wasting time. I have a couple resolutions, the main one is to get comfortable with myself again ie. lose some weight and feel happier. The others are going to come from a change that has to happen inside me. I will love myself more and realize God created me to be me and that I'm kind of ok. I will slow down and watch my children grow. I will stop being a doormat to those who wish to take advantage, and instead, stand up for myself. I WILL find true friends who are like me. I will not alter myself to make myself likeable to people who will never really like me anyway. I will nourish the true friendships in my life and let the other ones die. I will find a church I love and go there on Sundays. I will take care of myself and quit putting myself last on the list because my family needs me. I will love and appreciate my husband more. I will be wonderfully, TRULY happy. I hope you will be too!