2010 in a Nutshell

Kayla turned 5. Braden turned 8. I lost my amazing grandmother, my heart still aches daily and I'm not sure that will ever change. Cliff turned 30. There was supposed to be a surprise party for him, instead we were at a funeral and ended up eating cake in a hotel room while visiting his mom and stepdad. I spent most of my summer in Oklahoma. Nana Jo threw Maeli's first birthday party early becuse Cliff was supposed to go to Iraq. He ended up not having to go. Maeli turned 1, we took her 1st trip to the zoo. The kids started Kindergarten and Third grade. How did that happen? Cliff hunted a lot. He killed his first elk and a deer. I turned 30 and although the number was hard, the birthday was phenomenal. 2 days later my aunt went missing. My mom came for a visit. My mom is amazing. My faith and religion were questioned and tested. I love God more and my faith is stronger.

In an emotional aspect, I lost some friends and found out who my true friends are. There aren't as many as I thought and I'm okay with that. I realized that some bonds are unbreakable. I realized that I have cousins and aunts and friends, and just a group of freaking amazing people that will pull together and do what has to be done and take care of eachother when I can't be there. I watched my kids grow another year, it was too fast and it makes my heart ache. I became more thankful for my mom. I fell more in love with my husband and realized we are pretty amazing together and no matter what comes at us...we got this!

It's a new year, it's a new chance. This WILL be the best one yet no matter what is thrown at me. I'm 30 and I'm done wasting time. I have a couple resolutions, the main one is to get comfortable with myself again ie. lose some weight and feel happier. The others are going to come from a change that has to happen inside me. I will love myself more and realize God created me to be me and that I'm kind of ok. I will slow down and watch my children grow. I will stop being a doormat to those who wish to take advantage, and instead, stand up for myself. I WILL find true friends who are like me. I will not alter myself to make myself likeable to people who will never really like me anyway. I will nourish the true friendships in my life and let the other ones die. I will find a church I love and go there on Sundays. I will take care of myself and quit putting myself last on the list because my family needs me. I will love and appreciate my husband more. I will be wonderfully, TRULY happy. I hope you will be too!